How to think positive in 4 steps
Do you see a Glass Half Full? or a Glass Half Empty?
This is a thought-provoking question that when answered can determine which way you sway your opinions/positions to in most situations. Seeing the glass as half empty implies one is less hopeful and tends to look at the negative aspects of a situation. The opposite, seeing as half full, suggests one tends to look at a positive perspective in the same situation. Research and studies show seeing the glass half full makes you a happier, healthier, and more successful person. We have compiled some tips to help make you a generally more optimistic person. We can all relate to seeing the glass half empty on situations where it’s difficult to see the silver lining, but training your mind to think with a affirmative stance will help even in those trying moments.
I recently spent time with my best friend, Paige O’Brien, who also happens to be a Therapist, to discuss this topic and ways she recommends to her patients how to shift perspective to see the world with a positive outlook. She expressed it starts with the cognitive cycle – a psychology term I define as a logical breakdown system our minds go through when we receive, interpret, process, and then respond to information or situations presented. Even though it is a scientific theory on the WAY we think about things, we do have the ability to control and manipulate HOW we do this. The lens is what is in our control, we choose to see it as positive or negative.
1. Identify the origin of negative thoughts.
The genuine way to do this is to find the source of any underlying negative thoughts/cognitions. Paige refers to these as undercurrents we all have and stem from somewhere in our past.
Example: If you think you are ugly (fat, stupid, unworthy, etc), think back to times in your life where this thought began to occur. Maybe you were teased as a child by classmates or siblings. Maybe your parents told you this or maybe they didn’t tell you, so you just assumed you were not pretty.
When events and triggers happen throughout your everyday life, without even realizing it, you are taken back in time to those negative thoughts you trained your mind to believe were true, and in turn, effect the way you process those events with a gloomy feeling & behavior.
Example: An event occurs where you didn’t get a job you interviewed for. Because you feel rejected, you associate it with your undercurrent of being ugly (fat, stupid, unworthy, etc) & tell yourself you probably didn’t get the position because of that reason. You then feel sad and depressed and your behavior will lack confidence or motivation to pursue another job you have an interest in.
Figure out what your undercurrents are. Once you have them identified, you can stop the negative talk from getting into a depressed, unmotivated, angry or negative state in the future. You can then try to redesign the outlook into a wonderful opportunity.
Example: I may not have gotten this job, but that is OK because one ‘no’ is closer to a ‘yes’. Maybe this opportunity wasn’t the right one, so I’ll keep trying because there are many more jobs out there that will be happy to have me.
2. Shine light on the negative.
The sooner you can stop a negative thought before it manifests, the better. Pay attention to body sensations you experience when negative feelings come up. Intentionally tell yourself to stop thinking that way and intentionally replace with a positive thought. This is called Thought-Stopping.
Always remember, just because you believe a negative thought is true, doesn’t make it true. We are designed to set our own truth.
Example: “Not everyone gets the job they want, I must keep trying, it isn’t because I was ugly (fat, stupid, unworthy, etc), that is just my own insecurity. I am amazing and will get the next one.”
3. Become an equalizer.
Often, we gravitate toward believing the negative because we fear being positive will end in a letdown. Be balanced in your thoughts. Give equal credence to the positive you give to the negative. In other words, balance each weakness with a strength.
Example: “I may not be the most experienced in this group of candidates, but I have heart and determination to get this job and with that I will make sure I put my best foot forward and impress them with my spirit.”
4. Change the direction your thoughts are headed before leaving the station.
If you are driving and steer your wheels to go straight, where will you go? Straight, that’s right. Our mind? Same thing. Steer your mind to think positive, and it will.
Example: If you believe you are pretty, then guess what YOU ARE PRETTY. If you believe you are smart, then guess what YOU ARE SMART. If you believe you are worthy, then guess what YOU ARE WORTHY. Get the point? You set your truth and then when/if anyone else sees or thinks differently, your truth remains the same. It takes a little bit of work up front to get to this point, but we are all capable.
Now when you look at the glass half full or empty and have done the work to discover your undercurrent, replace negative with positive, equalize positive/negative vibes, and steer yourself into the light – the glass will be half full ALL of the time. Its powerful and its yours…fill it up! ♡